


singing like a bird

by nymeriahale



Series: honey you're familiar [5]
Category: Rugby RPF, Rugby Union RPF
Genre: Coming Out, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 18:24:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20295958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymeriahale/pseuds/nymeriahale
Summary: “Alright boys?” Verity greets when Owen, Elliot, and Jamie arrive at the poolside area where they’ve arranged to film Owen's captain's review of the South Africa tour - or what Owen suspects will more commonly be viewed as his coming out video.“Alright,” Owen nods back with what he hopes is more smile than grimace.





	singing like a bird

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Shrike by Hozier.
> 
> As indicated by the series this is a part of my long running Owen/George reality au, but can stand alone.
> 
> This is a work of fiction and as such nothing is to be considered implied or insinuated about real life rugby players.

“Alright boys?” Verity greets when Owen, Elliot, and Jamie arrive at the poolside area where they’ve arranged to film Owen's captain's review of the South Africa tour - or what Owen suspects will more commonly be viewed as his coming out video.

“Alright,” Owen nods back with what he hopes is more smile than grimace.

“We appreciate you guys getting up early to do this,” Verity says, directing them to the appropriately lit spots to sit in.

Owen sits opposite Jamie and Elliot, and wishes it felt less like he was about to interviewed - although of course that is what it is, regardless of who it is doing the interviewing.

“You would not believe how long this one spent in the bathroom getting his face ready,” Jamie says, hooking a thumb at Elliot. “We’ve been up for hours - obviously, I didn’t need that extra time.”

“Of course,” Verity agrees, amused.

Owen doesn’t say anything, doesn’t see the need.

“Or you’ve been up for hours moaning about your hangover, one or the other,” Elliot returns, to a squawk of protest from Jamie.

While mics are being set up and lighting and camera angles finalised, Jamie looks to Owen. “How d’you want to do this then, mate?” he asks. “This is your show, just let us know how you want it to go.”

Owen is shaking his head before Jamie has even finished speaking. “Yeah, that’s the thing - I don’t want this to be my show,” he tells them. “If we just run with this review of the tour thing, and,” Owen gestures vaguely. “I’ll get it in there somewhere.”

“If that’s what you want,” Elliot shrugs agreement.

Owen nods. “I really don’t want it to be a big deal.”

Jamie just laughs at that. “Thought you’d’ve got it through your head by now that that’s not possible.”

“I don’t want _saying_ it to be a big deal,” Owen clarifies. “Other than that - yeah, of course I know. As much as I can, anyway. Just want to get it done with now, you know,” he tries for a laugh, bites his lip when it comes out just as nervous as he feels. It’s just so _real_, now. It’s not that he’s having doubts, just that the magnitude of the situation is starting to set in. Everyone’s told him from the start how big a deal this will be - it’s as if all that weight is coming together now; he can finally feel it.

Jamie and Elliot exchange looks.

“I think we’re all set up,” Verity interrupts gently. “We’ve got some prompts and fan questions, the usual things -” she hands cue cards to Jamie and Elliot “- but I think we’ll leave you largely to your own devices for this one.”

“That’s great, thanks,” Elliot accepts the cards, passes a handful to Jamie.

“Yeah, thank you Verity,” Owen adds. As much as he’s trying to maintain the focus of this feature separate to his coming out, he does recognise that functionally, within the PR team, that is what it is, and he should probably be thankful for them accommodating him. It won’t get them purely positive press, Owen is sure, knows it’ll also give the team a lot more work over the off season. He ought to - does - appreciate that.

“You’re very welcome,” Verity tells him seriously. “Cameras are rolling, mics seem to be working fine - you’re good to start when you feel ready. Good luck.”

Owen looks away, unsure how to respond to the sincerity of that wish. “Shall we get going then?” he asks.

“Listen to this!” Elliot exclaims. “We’ve not even started and he’s trying to run the show - we’re interviewing _you_ Faz, not the other way around. Tour’s over, you can drop the captain-hat now.”

“Alright, alright,” Owen holds his hands up, smiling. “Over to you, then.”

“Gracious of you,” Jamie inclines his head in acceptance, before turning to a camera and rolling his eyes. “Alright then guys, hello and welcome back to the Daly-George show, our last installment of this O2 Inside Line tour series.”

“I know, I know, we’re as sad to see it go as you are,” Elliot picks up seamlessly. “But for our final edition we have a special guest - it’s only England captain Owen Farrell!”

Owen nods at the camera, waves awkwardly as the pause sits and PR applaud in the background.

“As comfortable and giving in front of the camera as ever,” Jamie teases.

“Oi,” Owen protests, then realises there really is nothing he can say to defend himself.

Luckily he doesn’t need to as Elliot looks down at his cue cards, a smile spreading over his face.

“I think we’ll start with fan questions, shake it up a bit,” he suggests.

“Whatever my co-host desires,” Jamie agrees, gesturing to open the floor up to Elliot.

“So the first question we have is from Alice -”

“- hi Alice,” Jamie cuts in, and Owen nods.

“- and she wants to know about our plans for the off season. Now, I think just about everyone in the squad has heard about your holiday plans on at least five separate occasions, Faz - would you like to share with our wonderful supporters?”

“No,” Owen says, flatter than he means to, as he realises what Elliot’s plan is. “I’m not mentioning him,” he explains himself, as everyone looks a bit taken aback. “I’ll talk about the holiday if you want to get the fan questions in, sure,” he gives, glancing back at the PR people watching so much more obtrusively than they clearly intend. “But I’m not mentioning my boyfriend.”

“It kinda seems like the easiest, low key way to come out,” Jamie comments.

“I know, I have thought about it,” Owen says, wincing at the exasperation he hasn’t managed to suppress. But honestly, as if that would be a new idea for him, as if he hasn’t considered every possible angle for how to bring his sexuality up. He’s not found one that suits him yet, but he has found plenty he wouldn’t be comfortable with, and this is one of them. “If I mention a boyfriend the media are going to want to know who he is, and neither of us want them looking. I know it makes it harder, but I’m not doing anything that might put any focus on him. Just me coming out is probably risky for him - us - anyway, I’m not doing anything that could add to that.”

“Okay,” Elliot says, the word drawn out, exchanging another look with Jamie.

“Mate,” Jamie says softly. “You seem a bit - keyed up?”

“Do I?” Owen cuts in, sarcastically. “Come on, we’ve already told everyone else this is happening, let’s just get it done,” Owen starts bouncing a knee, eager to get going.

“I don’t know,” Jamie hedges. “If you don’t want -”

“What Jinx is trying to ask is if we should be trying to talk you out of this,” Elliot interrupts when Jamie clearly isn’t going to finish his own sentence.

Owen winces - has he been that bad? He’s aware of the muttering in the PR ranks, feels himself only tense further. He _wants_ to do this, nerves aside.

“Or we could get George to come and do it,” Jamie offers, trying to keep it light. “I mean, we can try, but I’m not sure you’re in a state to listen, and frankly he knows you better than we do. Still - mate. You don’t have to do this just because you already told people you were going to, yeah?”

“We can see you’re nervous, Faz, and that’s fine!” Elliot goes on. “That’s understandable, but if it’s more than that - it’d be fine to change your mind, too. I’ve never seen you like this.”

They’re kind words, but Jamie’s right, Owen isn’t listening to them. As soon as Jamie had said ‘George’ Owen had stopped listening, instead thinking back to his and George’s morning exchange. It’s okay that he’s nervous, George had said - but this is Jamie and Elliot, everyone here is on his side. It’s an incredible thing that he’s doing, that he has the opportunity to do; that’s what George had said. He can bring so much peace, so much relief, to kids like he and George had been. He remembers George back then, so scared, so worried about his family or the team finding out. He can help kids like that with just a few small words to his friends in front of a camera, knowing that he’s safe in a way that they don’t, in a way that his presence can help make them. And he’ll have George behind him, beside him, whatever happens. There’s nothing to worry about. 

“Faz?” Jamie prompts.

Owen resurfaces, shakes his head, laughs. “Georgie already talked me back into it earlier,” he tells them, a gross oversimplification of the comfort and support George had offered. “We’re good.”

Jamie and Elliot exchange yet another glance, still cautious.

“I appreciate what you were trying to do,” Owen tells them. “But seriously - let’s just keep this normal. I’ll bring it up, I’ll come out, where it’s relevant. If it’s not we’ll look for something, but,” Owen shrugs. He’s spent so long not mentioning anything in interviews he’s pretty sure he can find a place _to_ mention it now.

PR are still exchanging dubious looks in the background but Owen thinks Jamie and Elliot can see he’s relaxed.

“Okay then,” Jamie nods. “No mentioning the boyfriend, but otherwise just a normal feature - take two.”

Elliot sits up straighter. “So the first question we have is from Alice,” he repeats, with Jamie repeating his greeting in turn. “And Alice wants to know about our plans for the off season - Faz, as our guest, would you like to go first?”

“Ah, sure,” Owen agrees, not quite having expected that after his last performance. “I’ve got a holiday coming up, right after the tour - not even going home in between -”

“Rookie mistake,” Jamie shakes his head. “With your kit you’ll be in rugby mode all break.”

“You say that like Owen _has_ a mode that isn’t pure rugby,” Elliot points out.

“Fair point,” Jamie inclines his head in acceptance of the point. “My mistake - do go on, Faz.”

“Er, yeah,” Owen flounders, wishing he had some kind of witty retort to fit into Jamie and Elliot’s banter. “Bit of a holiday in Italy, then probably just spending time with my family before preseason starts up, nothing too special.” Owen can feel how awkward and boring that answer is, wishes he could slip into the camera ready mode Jamie and Elliot seem to have. It’s clearly a front, clearly something they’re putting on, but they still seem twicce as relaxed as Owen has ever felt on PR duties, and more engaging too.

“He says like he hasn’t been talking about this holiday every day for the whole tour,” Elliot confides to the camera. “Don’t listen to him, he’s as ready for a break as the rest of us.”

Elliot and Jamie take the moment to talk about their own holiday plans, and they settle into answering a few fan questions. Owen feels himself relaxing as they go on, Jamie and Elliot drawing him in until it doesn’t feel too dissimilar to a regular chat. The lights are a change, the mics, the surrounding crowd - but Jamie’s peppered him with this many questions before, it’s not really that different. The questions are mostly around the next Premiership season, the upcoming match with the All Blacks, even the World Cup - Owen doesn’t realise the focus until Elliot spells it out.

“Alright, I think we’ve covered looking forward,” Elliot says, setting some of his cards aside. “The only logical thing left to do now is look back - how would you sum up that tour, captain?” he asks Owen.

“Oh, that’s very smooth, very smooth hosting, well done,” Jamie praises.

“Thank you,” Elliot nods, accepting the credit as his due.

Owen frowns, thinking about the question. “Er, I think definitely a learning experience,” he admits. “We found a fair few not so good things to work on - which isn’t too bad, it’s always good to know your weaknesses - and I think by the end of the tour, this last match, we managed to put some of that learning into action. It’s brilliant to end on a win, of course it is, to head into summer feeling a bit lighter and ready to go again next year.”

“What would you say your main learning has been, personally?” Jamie asks, curious.

Owen takes a moment to think. “I think it’s got to be from the captaincy,” he says. “Learning to kind of - look outside of myself and my performance more, to put more focus on what I can do for the squad as a whole. It’s something coming out made easier,” Owen realises - and it only takes him a seconds pause to realise that he can _say_ it, too. That that’s the point, even. “Having told you lads I’m gay means I’m holding back a lot less in camp, not spending half my conversations thinking about what I can’t say,” he verbalises. “That freed up all a lot of energy, more than I think I expected, and obviously it helped my connection with all you lads. That feeds onto the pitch, into training; it’s all interconnected. What do you think you’ve learnt?” he asks Jamie, curious.

“Oi, I’m asking the questions here matey!” Jamie deflects.

Owen just laughs. It’s done, he’s done it, he’s free. There’s no one left to worry about finding out, about poor reactions, because everyone will know from the off. He doesn’t have to check his pronouns ever again, hold back when someone makes a homophobic comment. Everyone knows, everyone will know, he can say whatever he wants, make his position as clear as he likes. And it’s the end of the season, so he doesn’t even have to deal with the media around it yet. Sure, he’s got to get through the actual posting of the video, but then it’s holiday time. Him and George and no distractions for two full weeks. He can’t wait.

**Author's Note:**

> As always comments are very greatly appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed this aside! The next chapter of hyf itself is a little over half written at 6k, although I know better than to promise that that means it'll be up next weekend! I can also be found on [twitter](http://twitter.com/nymeriahale), and once again I hope you enjoyed this!


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